Oh, hi photo of the month...

Okay so this one may need some explanation...

There's this movie floating around out there, possibly the worst movie ever made. It's hard to say what the worst movie is, just as it's tough to say what the best movie is. It's all a matter of opinion right? I mean, one could consider Transformers one of the worst movies ever made, or one of the best. For me it's the former as most people know.

But there are some pure classic bad movies, Plan 9 from Outer Space, Manos: The Hands of Fate, Lawnmower Man 2... I certainly don't think only old movies are bad, as I stated before, Transformers. Some movies you can think are good at first then realize they're bad, like I did with Superman Returns. But regarding this particular movie I want to talk about today there is no question, no matter of opinion involved, it's scientific fact: IT SUCKS.

I'm speaking of course of The Room. Made in 2003, this one is pure bad movie poetry. It's poorly written, poorly acted, poorly filmed, and the dialogue is quotably terrible. There are so many jokes to be made about this movie, and so many lines stay in your head and keep you laughing long after it's over. It's that bad. So bad, it's good. To provide further proof, the movie has developed a cult following similar to The Rocky Horror Picture Show. There are midnight screenings of The Room, where fans of it's awfulness gather, some dressed as the characters in the movie, and brandishing props used in the movie to throw at the screen during key scenes.

It's hard to describe the movie really, it's better seen than heard about. First glance of the movie poster, the title of the movie, and the hideous face on the cover, one might assume it's a horror film. It's not. That fine fellow pictured is The Room's main character, and coincidentally, the writer, director and producer of the film. A man named Tommy Wiseau with a strange lumpy build and some sort of indeterminate possibly European accent, who decided that he'd be good at making movies and starring in them. Movies with sex scenes. Would you want to see that man in a sex scene? You will. I've made it my goal to show this movie to everyone I know. I will not suffer alone.

To make the suffering easier, I actually discovered the phenomenon that is The Room through Mike Nelson's RiffTrax website. If you don't know, RiffTrax is run by the guys who used to star in Mystery Science Theater 3000 (Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett), and make a living making fun of movies. My kind of guys. If you don't know what Mystery Science Theater 3000 is, look I can't walk you through pop culture history, use Google or Wikipedia. My mom of all people turned me on to MST3K many years ago, and I followed it to it's end, and then followed the writers/stars to rifftrax.com, and have a library of 100+ movies they've made fun of over the years.

Back to Tommy Wiseau, while the man is clearly not a good filmmaker, he's a genius businessman. Once he realized the movie was getting such a terrible reception, he began to market it as a "black comedy", and states he always meant it to be that way. He began to organize the screenings himself, and appears at many of them to sell "The Room" paraphernalia, t-shirts, DVD's, etc. He even appeared at San Diego Comicon at a "The Room" booth.

In short, this movie will change your life. You will have so many new quotes to walk around saying to people (certainly a new way to greet people), and you'll be compelled to make those who don't get the quotes to watch it and share in your suffering. It will compel you to begin searching Google to find out why and how this movie came into existence and who was involved, and what they had to say about it. I HIGHLY recommend watching the movie with RiffTrax commentary as I did. To watch it on its own is painful, I know this from experience. I wouldn't dare attend one of the screenings without the protection of the RiffTrax guys. I still have a number of people yet to show this movie to, your time is coming.

Speaking of, Sarah and I went to the RiffTrax Live show recently, it was excellent (not the one in Nashville, but the live webcast to Showplace 14 in New Lenox)! There is going to be an encore showing, I'll let you guys know when I find out more, you should check it out. They chose to make fun of Plan 9 From Outer Space for the live show, there was a short before the movie, musical guest Jonathon Coulton, and a few funny spoof commercials.

If you simply can't wait, or need to have your own copy, I invite those of you with a password to my FTP server to experience the joy and terror that is, THE ROOM. Password required. If you download, stop by and donate to RiffTrax. My copy has the RiffTrax commentary as well as the original audio track. Watch at your peril. As Mike Nelson has stated, RiffTrax normally shies away from movies with nudity, but they could not pass this one up to make fun of. The nudity is limited to a few scenes, in which Mike, Kevin and Bill use the time to make some fun skits with their friend Disembaudio to take attention away from the hideous action on the screen.

Well I'm going to stop because all this typing is TEARING ME APART!

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