10.09.2010

It's a CONSPIRACY!

Drove my wife to the airport last night so she could meet her brother in FL for some Halloween festivities. Drove her car (an automatic) so I wouldn't burn out the clutch on my Jeep driving home in rush hour traffic.

Made it all the way to Channahon, and was quickly pulled over on the side of Rt. 6. I was going probably 5 or 6 mph over the speed limit, so I assumed that was the reason he pulled me over. I've been pulled over before, so I grabbed the old license, reg and insurance card. He comes to the window and asks the usual question, "Do you know why I pulled you over?" I immediately respond, "Well, I might've been goin' a little fast, that's the only reason I can think of." Everyone always says you should do or say certain things when you get pulled over, like don't volunteer any information, but I don't usually listen to the advice of others because if life's taught me anything, it's that other people are stupid.

He says, "No, it's not that. You've got a cover over your license plate." I'm like, "Oh, that's not allowed?" He says "No, you didn't know that?" I reply "No, I didn't, it's been on there for years, had no idea!" He says, "Well they can glare and make it hard for us to read the plates." I say "Ok, well no prob, I'm like a minute from home, I'll grab a screwdriver and pop it off as soon as I get in the garage." He checks my license, I sit and read the latest Twitters. A few minutes later he sends me on my way with a warning. I go home and remove the cover.

I'm writing about this because I'd first like to warn anyone else that may use one of these. Also, I'd like to submit a few thoughts for consideration.

I submit: "Do you know why I pulled you over?" Again, people would say to me "You just reply, 'No I don't.'" But I'm not the type to try and scam my way out of trouble, if I've done something wrong I want to correct it. But given a million guesses I would've never said "Is it my license plate cover?" How would I know that? I would guess things like "Do I have a busted taillight?" or "A potato in my tailpipe?" or "A deployed airbag?" before I guessed that.

Also, this cover has been on the car since The switchover to the red and blue license plates. How long ago was that? How many years? And no one anywhere has noticed and pulled over my wife? Oh sure, they wait till I'M driving the car. Yeah, I can say whatever I want on here. My wife's in Florida!

Another thing to consider. These new license plates suck and rust, which necessitated the cover in the first place. The old license plates didn't rust. How do I know? The proof is on my garage wall.

Finally, why are these covers even sold in Illinois if they're not legal? It'd be like selling fireworks in Illinois. Or crack.

So my conclusion is the state of Illinois has a scam going where they make these license plates that rust, then sell protective covers to keep them from rusting, THEN make the covers illegal and give out tickets to generate revenue for the state. You might say, "But Radd, the cop didn't even give you a ticket! How can you say it's a conspiracy to generate revenue?" thereby rendering the entire blog I just typed irrelevant. To you I say, "Well played."

If you have one of these, I suggest you turn yourself in. Or throw it out.

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