9.13.2011

NO THANKYOU

So Google came out with a Blogger app, this is my first post from my iPhone! Well, it's my first post from anywhere in a while...

So I was invited via Facebook to my 20th high school reunion, which means it's time for my suicide pill. But seriously, I'm not going. Why not? Well lots of reasons. I'm gonna list three...

1. I can see everyone on Facebook.

High school reunions are made pointless by Facebook. There's a reunion going on there 365 a year. You can see what everyone looks like, find out if you're more successful then they are, and stay in contact via the inter-webs now. Why would I pay $50-$75 bones to see a bunch of assholes I hate anyway?

2. Why would I pay $50-$75 bones to see a bunch of assholes I hate anyway?

Video games are popular and mainstream now. If you play them, and are good, you're cool and accepted. You know when they weren't popular and mainstream? When I was in high school. Playing and being good at games carried a nerdy stigma which got you laughed at or beat up. The only reason I'd go to my reunion is to thank all the people who shaped me into the bitter old man I am today. And then beat them with golf clubs while laughing in the moonlight.

3. I already hang out with my high school friends.

I live five minutes from @Duckhead and @Olaf330, I have no need to party and drink with the rest of the LTHS class of 1991. First of all I'm almost 40 and grew out of partying and drinking at 21. Nothin' I love more than a drunk douchebag breathing alcohol in my face while stammering: "Hey we should swap e-mails and Keep in touch!" Yeah okay, the only thing I'm sending you is a bunch of malware labeled "funny cat pictures lolz". Plus, I'd have more in common with the class of 2011, at least we could talk about video games and Tosh.0. What am I gonna talk about with my class? ...oh yeah SPORTS.  A topic I can only get through taking verbal cues from my buddy Koop via text message... "Dude he asked if I saw the game last night, which game and who won?"

You know, I got my GED in 1996, so I should technically be going to the reunion of the Will County September 1996 GED test group. How do I sign up for that?

"Sent from my iPhone"